new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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