I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize