Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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