I wish i was in the wii world.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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