Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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