Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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