I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
two words...techno handjob
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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