Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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