she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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