Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.

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(305): I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things. http://tfl.nu/z35b

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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(610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better http://tfl.nu/c25s

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(630): View more from Illinois

I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.

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(630): I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better. http://tfl.nu/ly4a

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(303): View more from Colorado

she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper

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(303): she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper http://tfl.nu/xl5z

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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b

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(914): View more from New York

Drunk. I slept-stripped.

(914): View more from New York

By myself.

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(914): Drunk. I slept-stripped. (914): By myself. http://tfl.nu/r1zm

Replies (4) Good night (2231) Bad night (799)
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(970): View more from Colorado

At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

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(970): At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name http://tfl.nu/d4zs

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

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(816): I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions. http://tfl.nu/d3ti

Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (569)
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(607): View more from New York

you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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(607): you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship http://tfl.nu/e8ub

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(647): View more from Ontario

My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

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(647): My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy? http://tfl.nu/waaq

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(731): View more from Tennessee

We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.

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(731): We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage. http://tfl.nu/1q8x

Replies (5) Good night (2659) Bad night (316)
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(713): View more from Texas

My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.

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(713): My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them. http://tfl.nu/xfe6

Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (215)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

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(202): Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home. http://tfl.nu/5j3k

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(314): View more from Missouri

That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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(314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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(902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk

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