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I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
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