I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
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Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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