People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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