First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize