i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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