Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize