I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You made out with two different species that night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize