It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize