Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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