My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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