last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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