I think my vagina is haunted
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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