you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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