she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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