I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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