I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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