I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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