Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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