I don't usually arrange sex via text message
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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