So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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