you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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