seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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