My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize