3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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