i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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