Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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