I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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