are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize