I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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