Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
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Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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