i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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