You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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