Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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