i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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