I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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