She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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