I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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