What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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