apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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