just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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