Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize